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How am I gonna be an optimist about this?

Looks like all I will need to do is survive therapy at the goddamn First Medical. Chiro dude was nice enough and I think we should be done with fucking paperwork and questions. I was super peeved because I got hooked up to machines and got X-rayed. I just want it over. I hope the insurance says fuck off and Megwa says he can't do dick so I can move on. I hate this. Becca described it perfectly: "She parades us around like we are sick puppies but instead of wanting sympathy, she wants money." I HAVEN'T hated Mom more than I do now. She is perfectly fine to smile and make me go through this because she wants money. She puts on a act, makes snarky remarks about me not being a better actress, and more. I hate her. I hate her so much. She is fine to make me do this and has not a second thought. I cannot even defend myself because she will switch it around,

But I need to relax and keep calm.I have to be smart and calculative. I have two plans going on.

On April 24th, I will leave to my new home.

it's been too long

so long in fact that it took 3 tries/incorrect passwords to even log in. haaa.
Ok. I don't know when I lasted updated. So I'll just recap what's been going on.
at the moment, my new year is going pretty well. Not SUPER GREAT but I am happy where I am :D and I mean that.
March 1st already...two months have gone by in 2010.

I've manged to maintain a decent front in the financial department. as crazy as it sounds, I opened up a shop on....myspace. Yes, you heard right. Myspace. Sounds wierd? it was a first, but there are many people on their who sell items and stuff. I decided to give it a go and it's been a success. I've managed to make enough to open a bank account and I have my own debit card now. I also sell on ebay...I hate ebay though, as when you sell something and get paid, paypal keeps the funds until you get positive feedback, after 21 days of no disputes, or after they confirm the buyer got the item >_> so annoying! I currently have $18 pending, and I can't have it until after paypal confirms it was delivered...which is probably not until the end of the week cause it takes like 4 or more days. (It was delivered Sat). But yeah, selling on myspace isn't as crazy as it seems. Of course it has it's risks like scammers and such but nothing ebay and amazon have never had.

Hmmm I've taken a slight interest in a guy who probably has no idea I exist. He went to high school with me for 4 years and we never had classes together until senior year but even then, I never talked to him. It was one class for one semester...never looked at him twice during that whole time...SUX... if only I didn't have my head stuck up my ass over a guy who doesn't even matter anymore. and for the first time in two years, I mean THAT. I don't give a shit about him. Would it be great if we were still friends? of course. Do I give a damn that we aren't? No. What happens, happens. And I cannot dwell.

I don't know if I ever mentioned this, but in Oct '09 a fortune teller told me I'd meet my soulmate when I'm 27 or 28.... I don't want to wait that long D: The crazy thing is, I don't even believe in soulmates. Though her words stood out to me, she said I was lucky for having a soulmate. :/ hahahaha. Ok. The truth is I do want to get married but I want it to be with the right guy for me. I want it to last forever, and seeing so many marriages falling apart these days(not talking about celebs, regular people) just makes me wonder if I will find the right guy. Also, I probably should have asked her if this "soulmate" was someone I already knew. I was nervous, as it was my first time so it didn't occur to me to ask.

This year I plan to go back to school :D I did the FASFA already and I am going to enroll for fall classes.
I am either going to major in creative writing or drama. Not sure.

Recently I've been thinking about how I don't keep in touch with my old pals anymore...it's been 2 years since I've seen most of them. I just came to the conclusion that I can't chase after people anymore...people who are too far for me to reach. I want to be friends with these people again, but I can't keep beating a dead horse. I see they have time for other people, and then turn around and say how much they miss me....yeah. It makes no sense to me. It's like I can't be friends with people who have like 10 million other friends. I don't think it's wrong to not to want to be pushed aside, like a third wheel. And then be told that it is ME that is pushing them away....I don't feel that I am pushing them away, but sometimes I see no point to kiss life into something that's died along time ago...


This week is the first week of march.
My plans are a lot of job hunting, a possible yard sale, and a possible paypal/ebay dispute if I don't get my necklace this week



Just a precaution so frenemiez will stay outta meh beezwax! (Typos FTW)
There's a 95% chance I will add you :) So go ahead. :D
The only entries that I sometimes keep public are Writer's Block ones [:

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